A Marriage NOT Made in Heaven . . .or on Earth, Either

Angry Selfish Woman

I wasn’t ready for what I read.  Even after I finished, I could hardly believe it! 

The husband of an acquaintance of mine had retired after a very long, laborious career at a petroleum facility. Last time I saw him, he looked like he had taken quite a beating over the years.  Since the two of them had done a fair amount of RV travel, I made a little comment about it when I dropped her a line.    What came back was biting.  I could hear loathing and bitterness!  They might be married, but there was no marriage. 

“Yes, he HAS retired and I am very upset that he has done this.  He is too young to retire yet!  (63)  I’ve been asked by so many people why he retired.  He should be working until at least 65-66 years old.  I don’t understand why he was in such a hurry.  With this economy as bad as it is, was not a good time to retire. 

What made me even more furious about it, was that he never even discussed retirement with me at all.  He just went into the office and told the company he was retiring and started the paperwork.  Now, is NOT the time to retire with the price of gas is going sky high, and cost of living as high as it is.  It was just ridiculous to even consider retirement. 

I resent him doing this!  Now myfuture is unsettled!  I fear that there won’t ever be the money to do the traveling I had hoped, or for the care that my cats will need.  I hate him for doing this! 

I hope he gets bored to death now, because we will not be able to afford to do anything!  There will NOT be any traveling for this year and possibly into the next few years, not with the price of gas!

Whew! I had to sit for a minute in order to absorb all that spewing hatred.  A few other words expressed how she wouldn’t even miss him if he died.  I think she meant it.

Pretty harsh, I’d say.

Here is a woman who has been able to stay home and do whatever she pleased her whole life.  She has not worked, and has no children. Spin cycle and swimming classes, along with her 20-some cats, fill her days at the moment. Her love of online shopping brings many spendy purchases to her door.

Her vet bills alone, probably drove her husband nuts.  Two cats went through extended chemo.  Other feline friends had conditions for which medical treatment costs equaled that of a human.

Still blinking in disbelief, I thought over our brief written communications of the past two years.  I couldn’t recall even one time where she considered him – – for anything.  Not much thought had been given to her husband’s desires at all.  It appears that he was “just a paycheck.” 

I’m thinking maybe, just maybe, he got that message and decided to do something for HIMSELF before HE ran out of time.  Perhaps he felt that he’d been the punching boy for too long and this was the only way he could “punch back”.  Of course, I don’t really know.  Perhaps, since through the years, she’s done what she wanted without discussion, he didn’t feel any obligation to communicate.  How sad.

During my own times of tough challenges, Peace helped both my husband and I to be proactive, not reactive.  It provided insight where we had no clue. When the unanticipated shook us at our core, we had The Rock to steady us.

I hurt for people like my acquaintance. She has no clue that she is blind, wretched and miserable.  She has no foundation and no Peace; the one relationship (her marriage) that should have given her stability, is excruciatingly splintered.

With a sister as an only friend, my acquaintance has allowed selfishness to push everyone else away.  She expressed this dilemma to me, but my suggestions about getting involved with community, volunteering, or church fell on deaf ears, accompanied only by sarcasm.

I’m out of words.  Zero.  Nothing for her. 

There is no way I can commiserate, and I cannot offer condolences! I have no idea how to connect.

So I’ll say nothing

Nothing, at least, until the Holy Spirit releases me and gives me the words. It is going to have to be HIM, because I know I have nothing to offer. 

On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand.

This post is shared at: Tell Me a Story


 I wrote this for me and I wrote it for you too
The tune is not quite finished,, but that won’t stop you from “hearing” this as a song.
When I am broken.  When I feel helpless
When I can’t even figure out what I should do.
When floods of tears come;  when I just feel numb
When I can’t make much sense of what I’m going through. .
Jesus hold me up!   Jesus calm my mind!
Lord, I’m reaching out, please wrap me in Your wings
Jesus help me stand!  Jesus be my Peace!
Please restore me with the Love Your comfort brings!
Be my Rock so safe and strong
Help me see where I belong
I need You…I need You…I need you!
When all hope is dry.    When I just cry and cry
When the darkness in my soul leaves me alone
When I feel depressed,  with my unworthiness
When my heart is beaten down, and overcome
Jesus hold me up!   Jesus calm my mind!
Lord, I’m reaching out, please wrap me in Your wings
Jesus help me stand!  Jesus be my Peace!
Please restore me with the Love Your comfort brings!
Be my Rock so safe and strong
Help me see where I belong
I need You…I need You…I need you!
Repeat Refrain:
This post is shared at “Tell Me a True Story.”

Out of Work – Need a Job? 2

Out of Work?
I am a facilitator. I help people see what CAN be possible – especially in the dental field. People need to be encouraged to think differently especially if they have already made up excuses for why “it isn’t working” or “won’t work.”   Some get downright hostile with me. 

I was sketching down some notes for an individual. I have presented them in rough form, because that may be easier to assimilate for certain people!

Here we go…. 

Consider this –  Perhaps a company that is downsizing will be willing to hire someone back as an independent contractor…Don’t dismiss that thought.  Do what it takes to get in business for yourself and then visit other companies of like nature to see if you can obtain work.

List yourself, and your tuned- up resume, everywhere!  Monster.com – Career Builder.com – CoolWorks.com – Indeed.com – Simply Hired.com…just to name a few.

Use Linkedin as a way to network…..Put yourself out there on Twitter and hook up with like minded peeps.  Set up an automatic follow up for people and companies who do what you do.
All social media is at your command……….BUT don’t wear out your welcome on Facebook!  Make a Fan page for yourself and your skill sets.  When you visit job Blogs, enter your link back to your fan page.

Be willing to work at various things until something that “fits” presents its-self.  

“We’ve always done it this way,” no longer works.  People need to re-invent themselves – to be willing to do continuing education that will make them more valuable.
Keeping up with technology in a specific line of work is hugely important.

Volunteering for other duties as a person can manage or can accommodate is also prime.  My daughter’s husband not only does computer tech stuff for the school district, but he also helps them with the audio/video stuff and actually helps make instructional DVD’s for the teachers. They love him.

If a person is hired to manage – then manage!  A manager cannot be everybody’s friend when it comes right down to it.  They are accountable for the processes and to the higher ups!  It is a fine line for sure.  Now is a must to pray for wisdom and favor.

My husband’s wage-cut, when his company was merged with another, equaled out to $10/hour. That was a big-time OUCH for us!   My dental assisting school is not always regular as I’d like to be and now it is being challenged again.   

Soooo….we set up an E-Bay store and are beginning to market used jeans, toner cartridges, and other things we have found here and there.  It is moving along slowly but it takes time to get going.  I’ll be working on getting some of my greetings cards up next.  
Here is the thing.  Just never give up!  Be consistent Keep swimming upstream!  God is on your side!  Things will eventually turn around. 
This post is shared at “Tell Me a True Story.”

…And then I met Zeus! 2

Homeless Man and Dog
There were no thunderbolts, but I heard,  
“Buy that Dog some dog food!”  
Yep!  That’s just what I heard!  About the same time I noticed his owner on the street corner, holding a little sign.  So skinny. Such wild, fuzzy long hair. The owner, that is.  Poor doggie, he lay there listless while his owner held a sign.   I imagine they were both hungry. 
The traffic that slowed only momentarily had suddenly picked up and I was swiftly surrounded and pushed forward by other cars toward the freeway onramp. Engulfed by thick traffic, I lost sight of them both. 
“Help Him, Lord…send somebody to help Him,” I called out loud. 
Inside my heart, I heard……”I did…….You!”
“What?  I am already way over here.  How do I do that?” I heard myself say – also out loud. 
I knew better.  Even if I was to be inconvenienced by getting on the freeway and had to take the first off ramp to go back and find him, that’s what I’d have to do! 
“Okay, Lord, if YOU provide an opening, I’ll do it.”  Resolve settled in.
Right then, someone cut in front of me!  How unnerving!   It could have been detrimental except that I was able to move the right – where I needed to be. 
My pounding heart!   Well, that wasn’t quite what I had in mind, and it was many blocks before I could turn around.  All the while, I heard the Holy Spirit say, 
“I’ll show you where to go.” 
I meandered back to the area, not quite sure whichcorner it was that I saw them.   There was no getting close or catching this poor man’s attention.  By now I was curious to see how the Holy Spirit was going to handle this. I felt led to turn into a little alley-like drive.  It took me behind a hotel and meandered until I was close enough to the corner of the sidewalk. 
Stopping and watching the area, I knew I didn’t want to get out of the car! But, as Only GOD Can DO IT, as I rolled down my window, he looked my way.  I motioned for him, and he walked over while his dog stayed put. 
“God has sent me to buy your dog some food and you too!  Meet me over at that fast food place, okay? 
“Just some coffee for me, Ma’am”, he mumbled. 
“No, God said FOOD”, I replied, laughing, and took off. 
The noon rush on all the surrounding restaurants was apparent, so it took me a bit to find parking.  This fellow made it inside before me.  His doggie lay on a dirty backpack outside. 
With food purchases made and this dirty fellow seated, I introduced myself, told him to go wash up and that I was going to the store to buy his dog some food, and to wait there ‘til I returned.   Inquiring eyes engaged mine and he nodded to my every word. 
“My name is Zeus”, he volunteered a little shyly.  My dad had a weird sense of humor.  My brother’s name is Lucifer and my dog is Bear.” 
I left him to get the dog food.  A blanket and several other things fairly fell into the shopping cart.   A time-check told me that I was running late.  I still had more than a 90 minute drive to get to an appointment.   
Back at the food place he waited patiently.   I mentioned that I had an appointment that I had to get to, but that I had a few things I wanted to talk with him about first.
As I shook those beyond-filthy, festering hands, I let him know that I hadn’t planned to be in his town on that day, but that something came up requiring me to change my plans.  I told him how I noticed his dog and what God spoke to my heart and how I got out of traffic to turn around and find him. 
The whole restaurant seemed to get quiet.  A tall black man, who had been standing watching, eased into the booth behind Zeus and bowed his head.  Yes!  I had backup!  
Suddenly, Zeus got a little flustered and then upset.  Grabbing the edges of the table he hoisted himself halfway up and leaned forward with a mean smirk,  
 “Then why, if God loves me so much, does HE let me suffer and be cold like this?” 
“Oh no you don’t!” I retorted.  
Now, let me preface the rest of the story by saying this: something most people know about me is that I seek not to hurt or offend. What came out of my mouth surprised me almost as much as it did Zeus! 
My voice took on a stern tone and as I leaned into his face, I heard myself saying,
” Quit Pissing and moaning and be a man!  Are you telling me that none of your circumstances today are a result of some of YOUR OWN crummy decisions?? 

You know, this isn’t the first time you’ve heard about God or His story, so quit pissing and moaning and listen.  God is telling me that you need to make some changes – fast!  You have some decisions to make.  He also says that You don’t have much time.  What are you going to say when you leave this body and stand before your Creator?” 

“I did the best I could?” he mumbled. 
“Wrong answer!  You lose!”  I said with emphasis 
You would have thought I gut-punched him.  He sank back into the seat, wide-eyed, sitting motionless for a moment.  I stayed standing but my eyes never left his.  I’m not sure I even blinked. 
Zeus thawed a bit and slowly but clearly said, 
“Well, I guess you gotta hear some things you don’t like to get your attention, huh?  Did you say you have an appointment and a long drive?”
I affirmed. 
“Nancy are you going to be late?”
“Because of me?” 
“Then that’s proof that God sent you” 
“Zeus, “  I said, “You are more important to God than anything.  This is what HE sent ME to do.  I can’t offer anything more that this bit of time right now, and I may never see you again in this life, but I want to see you in heaven!” 
Opening the bag with the rest of the supplies I bought for him, my tone softened and I said, 
“Here you go – for you and Bear.  Also, here are some comic booklets with stories. There are prayers at the end.  Read them and pray those prayers. Give your life to God.  I’m going to pray over you right now before I go.
He shook his head in amazement. All the wind had gone out of his sails.  I sensed the Holy Spirits presence.
The Holy Spirit prayed lovingly through me and I felt Him cover Zeus. 
After I opened my eyes, the restaurant was still full of people but there was still a Holy-hush over the store. 
There was much more to the exchange between Zeus and me that day, but too much to delineate.   Like Mary, I have hidden these things in my heart.
As I drove, my body began to shake and tears fell.  I praised God for His wonderful kindness and mercy.  
I might have been late for my appointment, but I never want to be late for my Divine Appointments. 
And when I get to heaven, I believe I’ll meet Zeus there – – – – and Bear too!
This post is shared at “Tell Me a True Story.”