Toilet Paper Tumult!


Now that I think about it, it’s not about bathroom etiquette. No, I’m sure it’s not.

If it were about etiquette, I could think of ten things that might matter. These would be The Rules that would control inconsiderate behavior that disgusts the female brand of family member.

For instance, leaving two squares of toilet paper on the roll is just as bad as leaving an empty roll. It doesn’t count!  But, it’s not about that.  Picking up dirty underwear after a shower would be in there somewhere, but it’s not about that.

No, if it were about etiquette, I would be concentrating on all the times I have had to use the Braille method to navigate the bathroom during the night, only to find myself suddenly sitting directly into the bowl. Soggy and seething, I’d wake up in a hurry!

So, I’ve settled it – it’s not about etiquette.

What is it about? It’s a small thing, really. I just that I happen to think that the toilet paper roll should be installed a certain way.  There are no two ways about it!

It should absolutely come up over the top, toward the user, and be accessible by the handfuls when needed!   It only makes sense!

Why would anyone want it to roll toward the wall and hang there with only a small visible piece, teasingly available from underneath?   I certainly don’t want to have to fish around for it when, say for instance, I’m ….. Sneezing. That’s right, a sneeze!

Say I’m suddenly overtaken by a sneeze-attack. For me, the frequency of one of these fits may number more than six, seven or eight convulsions at any given time.   Since the Kleenex box always seems to be empty, it sends me rushing toward the TP roll.    Achoo!  Achoo! Achooooo!   Achoo- oo-oo-oo-oo!

My diaphragm permanently locks, and I forget to breathe!   Reelin’, rockin’ and rollin’ in the direction of the TP, I do me best to cover my outbursts with one hand, but my eyes squeeze shut with every gusty impulse!  Mind you, I’m still moving forward!

Tears gush down my face as the GPS in my head spins wildly! Since I cannot see, my other hand flails in vain, searching for an ample piece of tissue.   No such luck!

Fine! Sneeze session over, I look at the ground.  A hundred small bits of clawed tissue clutter the area.  My head pounds and eardrums throb. I stand there frustrated.  Honestly!   My knuckles hurt from contact with the wall and I feel like I suffered minor whiplash in the process!

And now? Now I have to clean up an elusive mess, not to mention wash my hands, arms and anything else I might have blasted in the process.

Ohhhhhhhhh….. if only someone had exercised a bit of common sense! Am I THE ONLY ONE with common sense in this family???

Absorbed. My thoughts get swiftly absorbed by a myriad of things. If only the  “people in this house” . . .    Well. I’ll leave it at that.

Why don’t they do better? I’m sure I’ve mentioned these “things” to them a million times!

They don’t care!   That’s it!  They just don’t care.  How selfish!  All I do is clean up after everyone else and they don’t even bother to show a little courtesy in the small things that matter to me!

Their rooms! The kitchen! The animals! Their chores!   Every little nit-picky notion of nuisance submerged my usually-happy demeanor.

Swamped with irritation, I was in a “mood!” Gotta  bre-e-e-e-athe.

Of course, this kind of brooding never produces the righteous life that God desires.

Inwardly, I heard,

“It’s not about the toilet paper, or common sense either…”

“No?” I thought to myself, “Then, what is it about?”

Again the small voice,

“…Giving place to the devil…”

Ouch!  My mental tirade was just as bad as if it had been done out loud!

One Pastor used to say that the devil doesn’t know what’s inside unless he jostles the cup and then he can see what spills out.   I had been jostled, big time!

My response? Oh yes . . . that.   Uh, Not so holy.

If the mind is a battlefield, I had just waged a mini-war with a surprise attack and wounded everyone I loved! Those were some harsh thoughts!  I wouldn’t want any of those things working themselves out into words people could actually hear!

Were some of those thoughts true? Sure they were.  Does my family slack here and there?  Of course, but it was the way I allowed the lies attached to the thoughts to overcome me.  They bloomed as I meditated on them.  They fed discontent and anger, and I had unwittingly tolerated it.

I’ve put myself in check since, and not much gets an over-reaction from me these days. I know my source and I run to Him at once. I refuse to be a servant to anyone but Him.

I still get sneezing fits now and again, and yes, I still want the toilet paper to roll conveniently for me. But, when it doesn’t, I’m able to keep my cool.

It’s only common sense when we are led by the Holy Spirit!

This post is shared at “Tell Me a True Story.”



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